I wake up at 5.15am to get to my job. I reach home about 5pm from my job. I should really be sleeping by now.

I don't feel like making resolutions this year, so have a picture of my new year's eve girl(?)



Yea, finally came. So now I've got one New Year's Eve doll, one Christmas Eve doll and one Boxing Day doll at home. *stares at the odd one out*


Together with Beffy's dollie.

I feel like I'm having pink overload...

No, not really. Have some weird number-related rant instead.

The number of strokes in the two characters of my chinese given name reduces down to 8. The sum of the corresponding numbers to the letters in my English (romanised) name also reduces down to 8. In 2008, I cosplayed as number 8 of Organisation 13, whose pseudonym bears some resemblance to mine.

Yea, I'm done with that.

So, 2009 was the year of Hetalia for me. I made a lot of new friends, probably offended some people along the way, wrote a ton of pornish fics, made a couple of videos, went on countless shoots and became a bit of a history fangirl. I also learned to step out of my comfort zone and do things I would usually never have done. Like wear weirdly printed girly tops, making funny faces at the camera when cosplaying and randomly molesting people. I'm not sure if the last one is a good thing. ._.

I feel I've learned to throw away my pride when in character in order to best bring out the character, if required. Whatever image I may or may not have cultivated up to now has probably been smashed into a million pieces, over and over again, but that's a good thing. If I have no fixed image, then I can probably bring out the character more without injecting 'myself' into the character too much.

So far, this year, I've done Russia, China, France, Lithuania, Prussia, Germany, Austria, Denmark, America. And Kaito, but we'll put him aside for now. I think what I really like about Hetalia is that it's so cheerful most of the time. And it doesn't take itself too seriously. And even the most cool-seeming characters turn out to be idiots like everyone else. That's seriously fun.

I like Russia, because I like smiling psychos and I have that kind of possessive streak in me too. I do not like being Russia when there is/are a Belarus/Belaruses around. Because I've experienced a (much) milder version of her kind of stalking before, and I found it distinctly unfunny, I find it a little hard to take it in good fun. Just a little. But I try my best to just play along.

I like playing France. It gives me a good excuse to be sociable, because it's not in my nature to go out and talk to people. I do not like him as a country nor a character, because I really and truly find pedo creepy and I have generally disliked touching people up till recently. Nowadays, I like hugs. 2 years ago, I would barely tolerate a handshake. With a good dose of selective character interpretation, I can tolerate playing France. Besides, it's fun watching people squirm.

I like China for his clothes. That's seriously the main reason why I want to play him. Also had a bit of obsession over Chinese history, so, yea. He's not so fun for me most of the time because my seme level is OVER 9000 and it's hard for me to look small and girlish. =_=

If I can find a team that actually likes Liet, I'd do him more. I like his younger version when he managed to pwn Prussia, and I like his older version when he gets pwned by Russia, but the cosplay scene suffers from a chronic lack of Russia. Or the Baltics. Or even Poland. OTL

Prussia is, by now, overdone, if the last event is anything to go by. I blame his drama-cd. For some reason, though, people who knew me were under the impression that I would be most likely to cos Prussia. ._. I have to admit, actually, that I fail to see the awesome. ._.

Germany is NOT FUN TO DO AT ALL. His wig irritates the heck out of me, he doesn't *smile*, he has to be always responsible and in control and ARGH, TOO MUCH WORK, DAMN IT! If I was/am willing to do him for you, you KNOW I love you that much. I don't mind him *that* much, actually, because my build predisposes me to do that kind of macho, slightly bigger character, so it fits. Just that he's so un-fun it hurts.

Austria, I will not do again. Bleh, he's even less fun than Germany. And I have no affinity for music or the arts, so... yea.

I like Denmark. I may have mentioned before, but I love his smile? And the dorky way his character is portrayed makes me like him loads. And his cute hat. And his AXE. Uhhhhh. He's most fun if there's a Norway or Sweden around. I like playing him, but Nordic teams tend to be very close/exclusive, so I don't really get a chance to.

America is a joke cosplay for me. Glasses on, Nantucket goes up. Glasses off, kolkolkolkolkol. I don't have the energy to keep up with his character. =_= I do think our personalities are somewhat similar though. Not that I'd ever want to admit it.

Looking ahead, I already have a few non-Hetalia cosplays planned. Thief King Bakura for chest-baring awesome, a few versions of Kaito because I like his voice, Gackt, to make good use of my awesome boots, and Xelloss, because I am so a masochist. There might be more, but I don't like to make too many plans. Hetalia-wise, there aren't many more characters I actually want to portray, but I like Belarus's dress. Hurhur... France and Russia will probably feature prominently again in my collection.

Yea, so this did turn out to be a reflections post after all. A cosplay reflections post. On real life... well, I don't really want to think about it. I keep hearing about deaths this year. =_=

Because these holidays have been as jam packed as any school term, I didn't manage to collect this fellow until yesterday. But he came on Christmas Eve. *_* Now I have two Christmas dollies.



For the moment, he's called Sve. At some point in time, I'll come up with a full name, fufuf.

( Sve wants a hug and Fatality is pissed )

So, all I need is a pair of cute little horns and the inspiration to give him a face and my dragonboy will be done. And my doll-collecting will also probably be done. Still waiting on those blasted CustomHouse tinies, though. >(

One last paper tomorrow. The paper is expected to be relatively simple. Looking at the tutorials, it is relatively simple. The problem is, I have a massive phobia of the subject. D8 And I do mean MASSIVE. Just looking at the notes makes me want to cry. So I'm still trying to force myself to look at them. T_T

While randomly procrastinating yesterday, I think I've discovered the reason why I don't feel compelled to buy more dolls for my collection. I tried to do some sketches of the various dolls whose sculpts I like... and ended up with extremely similar sketches. So it would seem that I like ONE particular sculpt-type... and I already own him. ._.

Still not in love with Fatality, though. Considered getting him a pair of Chrom legs, since the skin tone and fit are pretty much spot on, but I'm still thinking I should just get rid of him. ._. Might be easier said than done, though. =_= I'm just completely not fond of the Delf look anymore. =_=

We'll see. After the cosplay season, I should take some time to clean up and faceup my various doll heads. My Ryu needs a new faceup, since I messed this one up quite nicely. I want to redo the Sephiroth faceup to something less gothy. I need to redo Camui's, since it's scratched up quite badly. I should give the Chiwoo head a shot, so maybe it might sell better. And I should clean up Fatality... and see if a sale is possible.

Other than dolls, I also need to sell off:
1 x Kadaj's souba, wood, from Caesars
1 x Germany wig from Fantasy Sheep
1 x France wig from Fantasy Sheep
1 x blue wig, the same one from the last time
1 x orange wig, same one from last time
1 x small wooden buster sword from Caesars
1 x Hetalia animation book
1 set of Minna no Nihongo textbooks, pristine condition. >( That might require someone to stake out the LT on the first day of Japanese 1 lectures next sem...

*facepalm* Where will I find the time...

*goes back to staring at lecture notes* *breaks down in tears*

I never meant to have a Russia doll, but, this...



This.

Digicams hate purple, but, actually, those eyes are, like, violet. ._. *facepalm* Nooooooo...!!! Doesn't help that, of all the wigs I tried on him, that one suited him best. D8 He's supposed to be my dragon boy. D8

Little India, 12 - 1pm, 166 to Neil road, depart times 1319, 1330, 1343, 1356

Ok, so I got the internship. It pays $600 a month. Calculating, my petrol there and back would be about $200 a month. Food bill, maybe about another $100. And the government will be taking $48 a month from me. Nett profit = $252/month.

D8

And furthermore, mother-dearest tells me, her tax relief for me works out to about $3000 a year. D8 If I work, she doesn't get the tax relief. D8

S... so, if the job turns out to be not so taxing, I definitely need to find another job for the evenings. D8 Otherwise, it's a complete waste of a semester. ~_~

GAH.

Unf.

I've seen something else I like: http://eluts.com/frontstore/item/item_zoom.asp?mart_id=lutsdoll&item_flag=1&item_num=5575

For him, I'd gladly sell off Fatality (as always), and possibly even my incoming Ryu head and Sphaler body. ._. What. What is this. I even LIKE his default faceup. D8 d00d!

Ok, so, I have the pockets, the ends of the sleeves and the collar left to complete on my jacket, so I try it on first and, yay, it looks great... except that it's also showing off my newly acquired boobs. D8 What. The material is too soft to hold its shape properly. D8 Maybe, maybe, after I add the pockets, it won't look so bad?! O_O Because I'm NOT taking the damned thing apart to line it.

The other thing I'm kinda fretting about is that I do not know where I put my buttons. D8 B... but I'll deal with that when I need to sew them on.

Damn it, Germany, I HATE YOUR DAMNED UNIFORM. T_T

Costume progress: 70% completed, 100% exasperated.

My bust has reached 40 inches. That's 3 inches up from last year. This is not good. I'd never expected 4... 4... 4... 40. OMG, WTH, WHY IS IT 40?!

Ah.

Ah.

...explains why all my costumes have been kinda tight in the chest, though. D8 My old patterns.... can't be used anymore...

N... not that it's a particularly bad thing. 40-33-41 actually sounds fairly ok (to me), except that I'd like my 30inch waist back, please? I'm so going on a diet/fitness regime next year. T_T

Just to mention, my ribcage measures about 35 inches at rest. ._.

A... anyway, now that I've gotten over that bit of trauma, it's about time to face another? Exam tomorrow, 1pm. I'm just about prepared, a bit of last minute studying to do, and no motivation to do it. >( This is not good.

And after that, I'll have to work on my Germany costume. 8D/D8

On the bright side:
1) I'm making good use of my spanking new patterning book.
2) I found a cloth closer in colour to Germany's stupid uniform.
3) The pants are awesome.

On the not so bright side:
1) Still having trouble with the jacket drafting using the new patterns.
2) The colour is still wrong, just not as wrong. At least it's close to this, just a bit lighter:

(Yea, that's from Valkyrie-the-Tom-Cruise-movie)

The one on the right, where you can see how NOT Germany the colour is. The one on the left is the oringal cloth I was going to use.
3) THAT DAMNED WIG.

*pukes blood*

So. My exam will finish probably by 3.30pm. I will get home about 4pm. I will be having dinner and a lesson. Assuming I work until 4am, I will have about 8 - 9 hours to finish the jacket. Plenty of time. Then catch some zzzzz until 11am for a healthy 7 hours of sleep, wake up, head down to City Hall to meet Italy. SEE, IT'S ALL PLANNED OUT. *SPAZZ* O_O

Eh.

So, see ya on Sunday, you who are going to AFA on day 2. I love you all and yada yada yada... I need to get back to studying.

[EDIT]
Wrote up the last of my notes, time to be reading it. This is gonna be a hectic end of year for me. O_O

21 Nov - exam
22 Nov - AFA
25 Nov - 4 Dec - Rest of exams
7 Dec - fly off to Taiwan
14 Dec - get back from Taiwan
18 Dec - M'sia for CF
22/23 Dec - get back to Singapore
26 Dec - EOY

Basically, for costuming, I have about 5 days to prepare for CF and 3 days to prepare for EoY. ._. I... I can do this. o_o

Can you see the sparkle in my eyes? Can you see the sheer love emanating from my expression?

The Germany wig... not fantastic, though. I might have to get another one.


And finally...

Damn, I miss my colourful wigs. *sparkle* Yea, the makeup's wrong, mainly coz I wasn't looking at the refs, but, man, it was hella fun. Gotta style it a bit more and copic it the right colour, but overall, I love it. O_O And it was so easy to get into character, it's kinda scary?

I'm just yandere, wth...

Not entirely sure why, but I've been feeling quite tired at all times of the day for the past few days. Yesterday, ended up with a headache accompanied by nausea. I drove reaaaaallly sloooooowly home. :\ And took a nap. And felt a little better. But I'm getting a cough again, and getting a sore throat too. Hopefully, I don't fall sick until next week. :\

On an unrelated note, this is what Fatality would look like if I had any inclination to upgrade him.



It's the new IOS 70cm boy. *nosebleed* But, for the moment, I think that Fatality works better as he is. I used to want many 70cms, but now, I think I like playing with the height difference better. Besides, if Fatality got upgraded to that, I'll be doing nothing but naked yaoi shots. o_o

Oh, with the new Luts S-hook, I can't put the Sephiroth head on Fatality's body anymore. The hook's a but too big to pass through the hole. :\ So I can't even do fake body shots. :\

There's hope that Sphaler will ship by December, but I REALLY hope not. O_o January would be much better (please let me get my internship). The more I look at the Supergem body, the more I think, I want to swop out for a (BW) CP type 3 body. :\ Even though I already have one (type 3 body). :\ We'll see. ._.

I'm realising, I've got way too much doll-related ranting here. :\ But I guess it's easier to rant about than cosplay. Or world news.

Speaking of world news, America/Russia/China = OTP. *sighs* Sometimes, I really regret being born in Singapore. It's such a tiny, insignificant island. A nice place to pass your life, sure, but... someday, someday, I'm going to tour America. Maybe live there a couple of years if possible. I want to see deserts, clear skies, praries, mountains....

My Chiwoo head came in today:



It's... unexpectedly big.





So it's going back onto the marketplace. :\

And one random shot of my Sephiroth head next to Fatality:


He's got such a looooooooooooooooooong face in comparison...

You look at it from the top down and he has that smirking look.



You look at it from the bottom up, and...



Yea, changed his faceup from this:

I have to look into either getting new pastels or a new blushing brush. :\ He looks ok in the photos, but kinda dirty in real life. :/ But he looks a bit more like Sephiroth now?

I think I'm getting better at this... the eyelashes are still giving me some problems, though. :\

I think I might never go back to Alice 88th. She has recasted Volks dolls. :\

In other news, it's time to sell my mini Buster Sword and my (wooden) Souba. I actually spend a lot on a regular basis, many times frivolously too. At least the Buster Sword saw some use. The Souba, I got just because I saw it. :\ And my DS? It's not been used for, like, ages. And I don't really game. Maybe I should sell that too. :\

Not that I need money desperately, but I think I should stop with the hording already. :\ Won't be getting rid of my softtoys, though. >)

With regard to the weird mood swings? Yea, I dunno.

Bought a sleeping Chiwoo head for modding purposes. Way back in 2006, when I was just getting in the hobby, I desired a Woosoo. That is, of course, uneconomical, so I was playing with the idea of modding a sleeping Chiwoo. I never did, of course. Luckily, what with the price drops over the years. :) Now I got one for US$75, inclusive of EMS shipping. :) And it's from the same year as Fatality's body too, so maybe the resin would match? :)

Yea, I'm losing my battle against resin. But this will be the last purchase for awhile, I think, until I get my mind sorted. Ha... haha... I need to ration the rest of my money for the next few cosplays. Kyte... and France. I think the France costume might kill me.

As for funds, I might restyle that blue wig for sale, and I will definitely be getting rid of one of my three France wigs. Yea. It's gonna be three once the latest one gets here. When I obsess over something, I OBSESS. It's insane, but I think it might just be better than being completely passionless.

At least, for me, happiness is easy: it can be store bought. I don't know if that's a good thing? But at least it's convenient.

My cousin was buried today.

In other news, I was thinking about my dolls. More accurately, what I'm doing with them. Yea, I'm making stories again, making clothes, getting them shoes, but, well, when I really think about it, I only want Camui.

I was looking at my Sephiroth head today, cleaning it up and planning to do a new faceup when I sort of lost all motivation. I'll look at it again in a few days, I guess, since it does need a face. I was also just thinking that I have no motivation to ever complete him, because I can hardly imagine getting another big body. I'd consider selling him, except that there's a batch of Sephiroth minimees that are going to be coming in soon (damn it, DIM, getting greedy?).

Fatality stays, because the current market rates would mean I make a loss of about SG$350++ selling him off. And because Camui seems so lonely alone (哈哈，废话。。。). We'll see what happens when the new dolls come in, I guess. I'm kinda determined to keep the dragon... because it's a dragon.

Wonder how I'll react to the tiny... so far, they seem a bit small for me. :\

Ah...

Time will tell.

*goes back to cuddling Camui*

I don't know why, but I was extra sleepy this morning. After the morning lecture, I actually went out, found a bench and just crashed for about 1.5 hours, because I was afraid to drive home while being that tired.

A little food helped me wake up a little, but I'm still kinda sleepy. :\ I wonder if it's a psychosomantic response to the test tomorrow, that I really, really, really don't want to take. D8

Shall try to study for it anyway. ;_;